


not in this lifetime

by joshuakgae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, POV Male Character, Post-Hogwarts, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22906147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshuakgae/pseuds/joshuakgae
Summary: His mother was right about soulmates. (He thinks it only applies to him and Granger because the world and their history is too cruel like that). "And she will be so beautiful, like the stars and the moon and the sun, so beautiful like those you cannot reach."
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 19
Kudos: 162





	not in this lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first dramione fic ever. Please leave reviews and comments! And check the end notes too.

**DAY 0:**

The mark was colored in gold and silver, almost like a tattoo. When Draco saw this for the first time, he was shocked and shouted for the elves to clean it, remove it. The elves hurriedly and in panicked tried to scrub it off but to no avail. He was complaining and telling them off, when his mother came in and asked what the commotion was all about.

“It won’t come off”, he grunted as he harshly grabbed the cloth from the elves’ hands, rubbing it on his finger.

“Please leave me and my son alone,” Narcissa said softly and the elves were gone with a pop.

She kneeled down before Draco as she grabs the cloth from his hands and scans his left hand.

“Your hands seems to be clean, Draco,” she says with a stern voice as she takes a look on his palm.

And when she skimmed her hands by his fingers one by one, that’s when she saw it. He heard her mother gasp and drop the cloth and gather his hands onto hers. She traces the mark, that takes the shape king of like a ring but in tattoo form. It seemed like vines intertwining with each other, in the colors of gold and silver. 

“Oh, my dragon,” he heard her say and Draco swore he saw tears gathering in her eyes.

And later that night, when his mother tells him he’d stumble upon a girl that’ll complete him, she tells him that in simple terms, she tells him he will find someone who will fit him perfectly, someone who will be like **the stars and the moon and the sun, and everything that is unreachable.**

“How could I possibly find her, mother?” 

“Well, that mark on your finger. That’s special. Not everyone has one. See, I don’t actually even have one. Although, your grandmother did have one. There’s been ancient stories as well. About how a love so deep goes. That mark will help you find her. You both have the same mark on the ring finger of your left hand.”

She kisses him goodnight then, and tucks him in, and Draco goes to sleep with his left hand upon his heart. 

  
  


**DAY 1160:**

Draco could admit to himself that at 13, he feels superior and invincible. 

And yet, how could someone below him make him feel otherwise?

_You foul, ugly, loathsome cockroach_ she had said before drawing her wand to his throat and for the first time in his life, Draco felt fear. And when her goody friends told her to just leave it, he finally scoffs and sneers, only to feel her left fist. 

And even though Draco hates Hermione Granger, thinks of him as mud, and dirt, and filth, he admits to himself that she is ten times the person he is.

_He does not notice Hermione touch her left ring finger afterwards in a look of shock and confusion, tracing what seems to be a mark a shade brighter than her skin._

**DAY 2082**

Draco’s life is falling apart. This, he knows. He knows that if he does not do the task given to him, he will face death. Or maybe he would first watch his family face death before he does. To make it more painful. Or the Dark Lord might even ask him to kill his parents first. Then leave him alive to suffer. 

He often seeks Moaning Myrtle now crying and shaking and she just lets him. He does not show it but he is thankful.

“That’s a nice mark,” Myrtle comments as he sits on the floor with books about dark magic and whatever ancient curses are there that he brought from the Manor.

He looks at what she is looking at and sees that she is staring at his mark, his soulmate mark, and he touches it and nods.

“I know what that is,” she hums.

He looks up from the books then and furrows his eyebrows at her, “You do?”

“Mhmm, I have one too. See,” she says as she shows him her left ring finger and despite her being a ghost and translucent, there is a lining that resembles a ring.

“Who-”

“I didn’t find out who. My mother always told me about finding a soulmate and all that. As you can see, I was suddenly murdered and I didn’t even get to find out who it was,” she wails and Draco does not know what to do with a crying lady… lady ghost.

“Uhm, what color was it?” he asks stupidly.

She stops crying momentarily and sniffs “Blue and red intertwined.”

He doesn’t even get to say anything as she floats away crying and he is left sitting dumbly.

He looks at his mark then and traces the gold intertwined with the silver and for the first time in weeks he ( _well, tries to_ ) smile. Ancient books and the Dark Lord suddenly forgotten, he thinks of how life will be when there is no war and when he is with his soulmate. Everytime he comes home, he knows his mother wants to know whether he has found his soulmate or not. A mother’s joy is to watch her child fall in love, his mother had told him. 

And the thought of having someone who holds his heart is a thought enough for Draco to get through the night and have the best sleep he has gotten in days. 

**DAY 2644**

The war is over. Potter has won. The Dark Lord is dead.

Draco is outside by the Black Lake, away from all the celebration. Away from his parents. He does not know what will happen to them. And he is scared for his mother. Damn his father.

He stares at nothing and he thinks of how fucked up he has been. How wrong he has been. And his heart is full of regret and pain and guilt. He traces his mark unconsciously and he thinks whether his soulmate would even look at him. He thinks he is lucky now to have Pansy as a soulmate. At least she’d understand him. 

He sits alone for what seems like forever until a person sits beside him. He does not need to look to notice the bushy hair. He flinches a bit, not expecting Granger to sit beside him. He feels suffocated, bothered, judged, condemned. And he deserves it.

Granger doesn’t say anything and he does not know what to. What do you say to the girl who was tortured in your home, the girl you have bullied because of blood, the girl you wished was dead? And so he says the one thing that he had said a few times, a number you can count on your fingers.

“I’m sorry.” 

She doesn’t say anything and Draco dwells on that silence. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,_ and after that, she stands up and leaves. 

And Draco still traces his mark. 

  
  


**DAY 2656**

It was Draco’s trial and he was ready. He was ready to go to Azkaban and to rot there because he deserves it.

But of course, that didn’t happen.

Potter and Granger testified for him and his parents. Something about being a child, a minor. And about not killing Dumbledore. And how he hesitated in identifying them. And Draco can’t help but laugh bitterly inside because he does not deserve this. At all. He wonders how many good are there in the hearts of Gryffindors and how many are left until it bites to him.

He sees Potter and Granger approaching him, and he stands a little taller using whatever Malfoy dignity he has left. He cocks his head to the side as they stop before him.

“Malfoy,” Potter says as he shifts awkwardly beside Granger who just seems to want to get the hell out of here.

“Potter, Granger,” he nods his head at them and silence falls.

They were just staring at each other and there are words lodged at Draco’s throat that he cannot say so he settles for what is simple.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Potter just nods and Granger doesn’t even look at him and just looks past him and at the wall beside him.

“I know you didn’t want to testify and … thank you,” he says and his voice is shaking now.

“We wanted to.”

His head snaps to Granger and she was still staring at the wall beside him as he asks her what?

“We wanted to testify for you.”

She is now looking straight at him and Draco sees anger and sadness. And he also sees courage. And then it’s all gone as she walks away from him. Potter gives him one last nod, and stretches his hand out. Draco just stares at it and hesitantly takes it and he was given a smile before Harry leaves.

  
  


**DAY 3526**

Life during the war was hard. Life after war was hell. 

It’s been two years since the war and Draco has rebuilt the Malfoy name. After the 3 month house arrest that the Ministry has let them off, he began to bring glory back to their name.

He has a job at the Ministry at the Department of International Magical Cooperation. He heads the International Magical Office of Law. Getting accepted was not easy but his grades in Hogwarts were enough of a testimony of his performance. There were still judgements thrown his way, but most people acknowledge him now for his works and actions nowadays. 

Also because Harry Potter considers Draco Malfoy as a friend now. And no one says no to Harry Potter.

He doesn’t know how it starts. But Draco thinks it’s when he first got into the Ministry and Harry was given the Auror position, along with Ron. He bumped into them, and him, expecting a scoff or a glare, was greeted by a _“Hey, Malfoy!”_ from Potter (and albeit a much more forced and grumbled _Malfoy_ from Ron). 

He had tried so hard to deny Potter because he knew there was just too much bad blood between them, but he simply shrugged and told him about something with bygones. 

Draco never actually apologized to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Never actually gave them an essay about all the shit he did and the wrongs he did. But he made sure to tell both of them that he apologizes _sincerely_ when they went out to drink at a nearest pub, something about _starting anew_ as Potter said. Potter just laughed while Weasley counted off the number of times he was a git and cursed him and Draco gave him the permission to hex him off, which Weasley took the chance. 

**DAY 3584**

The Golden Trio comes as a package. And Draco should have known it would have been a while before Granger steps into his life as well.

“Malfoy,” she greeted him as she stopped by Potter’s office as him, Weasley, and Potter were talking about playing Quidditch soon. It had been two months since the three of them had formed a… friendship and Draco was still new to it.

Draco nods at Hermione before she turns to the other two and says something about being home at the Burrow and whatnot before she turns to leave.

That was the first time since the trial that he had spoken, well more like acknowledged Hermione. 

And from then on, greetings of _“Malfoy”_ was thrown on his way by Hermione Granger when she spots him wherever and Draco just nods in return. 

**DAY 3952**

Draco hasn’t felt pain like this.

His mother was dead and there was nothing he could do but stand during her wake, greeting friends and relatives, and watch her be lowered to the ground. Draco has never felt alone before but today, he feels like the whole world is against him. 

Sitting in his room in the Manor now, he stares at the ring he is wearing, something that she has given him during her last night.

“You know, I always knew you were destined for great things, my Dragon. Perhaps, me and your father were not the best example and perhaps we had different ideas of the greatness we wanted for you, but I am so proud of the man you have become, Draco,” she said softly, while tracing his mark. “I know you held, well maybe still hold a great feeling of resentment towards me and your father. But know that I am so sorry, Draco. For whatever pain I have caused you.”

“I could never,” he had replied then, wanting her to know that he could never resent her.

“I know. I just wanted you to know.”

Narcissa was many things. A wife, a mother, a hero in Harry Potter’s eyes, but one thing she wasn’t was a grandmother. She had told him that she wanted to see his soulmate at least before she passed away and thinks of how cruel fate can be to her. _I won't even see my dragon fall in love and be happy_ , she rasped out. _I’ll love her like how you love, mother_ , he then assures her. And she nods and tells him about how he deserves love and joy and he just nods because he does not agree, but believes her anyways. 

She then asked him, as she cannot move anymore without bearing pain, to unclasp the chain around her neck. And as he gave it to her, she held his hand and enclosed his palm around it.

“For you. So that you will know that I love you. Even in death.” 

And he nodded, with tears in his eyes, as he kissed her forehead and held her hand.

On a cold October night, Narcissa Malfoy had died. And as Draco mourns the death of his mother, he puts the ring on his left finger, covering his soulmate mark. To remind him that no love in this world could even come close to that of the one of his mother’s.

**DAY 3982**

Granger comes out in the most unexpected days.

Like today. A month after his mother’s death. A day where he has cursed and snapped and practically everyone who came his way. He had almost even hexed Potter and Weasley after trying to get him to talk. Healing was a strange process, he thought. 

And now, he sits by the foyer in the cafeteria, alone. Well, alone before Granger stepped in.

“Malfoy,” she greeted him, and she didn’t even have the decency to look apologetic. 

He glares at her. They hadn’t talked since he came to the Ministry and he will hex Potter off if he had forced Hermione to talk to him.

“Granger, you can see you way out.”

She scoffs and just takes a seat beside him and they are silent. She doesn’t say anything, thank Salazar, and just lets him brood.

“You’re odd, Draco Malfoy,” she then speaks (so much for letting him brood).

“Granger, if you’re here to insult me, please get the fuck out,” he snaps and turns to look at her.

She doesn’t even seem fazed and just shrugs and leans back.

“Granger-”

“Yes, I know, you don’t need pity. And I don’t have any to give you,” she says quietly and Draco just nods.

And after what felt like an eternity, Draco couldn’t take it anymore.

“My mother. My mother was brave, you know? Lying to the Dark Lord,” he whispered while looking at Granger.

“I know, Malfoy,” she nods slowly.

“I just… I just don’t want you to think, to remember her as someone cruel. Don’t even associate me with her if you have to. Just… she deserves more,” he says while looking away.

Granger doesn’t say anything for the longest time and he doesn’t mind. He plays with the ring his mother had given him. Then, he feels a hand over his and he turns to Granger, eyes confused and she gives him a small smile.

“I know, Draco. I know,” she says quietly before she stands up and leaves.

**DAY 4023**

Him and Granger become friends or some sort after that.

She starts so stay when he, Potter, and Weasley are together. She insults him and he bites back and he knows that it’s all playful as she laughs. She works with him, too, as they needed to work on a project together since she heads the Department of Magical Law Enforcement (Draco is still in awe). She speaks to him with more than 5 words now, too.

“That’s a beautiful ring,” she had told him when he handed her one of the reports she needed.

“My mother gave it,” he said quietly as her hands brushed against his.

She nods and then shows him her own ring on her left hand, too. Her ring compared to his was much simpler, just a band of gold. His was bearing a emerald stone in the middle, wrapped around silver bandings.

“My parents gave this to me. Before the war. As a memory and all that,” she said nonchalantly but Draco knew what she meant. _If ever I don’t make it out alive_. 

She starts heading out then and suddenly, Draco felt the need to say something. _I’m sorry. Thank you._ All the words bottled in him.

“Granger,” he says and she turns around.

“Hmm?” 

He swallows before he lets the words get out. “I’m glad you made it out alive.” 

_Of the War. I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for saving me. I’ll make it up to you._

And she smiles softly and Draco swears his heart stops.

“I’m glad you made it out alive, too, Draco.”

  
  


**DAY 4101**

Hermione Granger was special.

Draco already knew this back in school. She was smart, her blood was different, she was brave. But it took years for Draco to see just how special she is. 

She is warm in the cold, wanting to make you smile on the coldest days. She is fire in the dark, a spark of courage and determination. She is a sword and a shield, her words bite but it is to protect herself, and to protect the friends she loved. She is brave, kind, and forgiving. And Draco thinks if he will be worthy enough of her. 

He thinks it starts when she suddenly entered his office, the day after he said some words. She sits as if he had invited her in and he raises his eyebrows in question. She simply ignores him and rattles on about how Weasley was being an annoying prat as always. _Said about how hideous my robes are_ , she commented. He simply nodded and returned back to his paperwork, listening to her rambling. She stops and looks at him then, and he quirks his eyebrows up again.

“Would you like to go to lunch with me right now, Malfoy? Seeing as how you’re clearly tired and I’m mad and starving,” she said in her bossy voice.

“Why, Granger, didn’t know you’d ask me out,” he replied smirking as he stood up.

She rolls her eyes and heads out first before turning back to him and saying “We are not friends, Malfoy.”

He just laughs and follows her outs. 

**DAY 4163; to whenever**

Falling in love was unexpected. At least when you fall in love with Granger, anyways.

Draco asked her out when she walked in his office, smile bright and coffee in her hand and he just suddenly blurted out the words. She pauses and he is afraid she will run away until she smiled even more widely than before and mirth was in her eyes.

“I thought I would be the one ending up asking you out, Malfoy,” she said. 

The first time Draco kissed her was an accident. They were walking to the foyer in the cafeteria and she was saying something about wanting to tear her clothes off because of the heat. Draco didn’t want to miss the chance to rile her up so he leaned close to her ear wanting to say _I’ll tear it for you_ when she suddenly turned her head and his lips found her.

Draco froze and Granger pulled back, eyes wide. They stared at each other before she smirked and pulled his head down and kissed him. Deeply. With tongue.

Telling Potter and Weasley was chaos. She was shouting midst of them trying to get a hex on him, telling him he should watch out and take care of her or else he’d be seeing the last of the earth and he’d be regretting befriending Potter.

He was about to say to Potter that you’re the one who wanted to befriend me when she suddenly hexed both Potter and Weasley and he swore, he fell in love more. 

They were Granger and Malfoy. If they were not fighting - who was he kidding, they were always fighting. It was in their nature to disagree, to rile each other up, to push each other on the edge. 

She’d end up not talking to him or even sparing him a glance in the Ministry, he won’t bother going to her office or even tell her sorry, she’d bring Potter and Weasley up to talk to him, he’d always tell her to fuck off when she goes too much. And it would always end the same one, her calling his name softly.

“Draco,” she’d always start tiredly.

He’d sigh and reach her hand and kiss her knuckled and she’d smile warily at him and she knows what he means. _I’m sorry._

Malfoy became Draco. Granger became Hermione _(well, sometimes.)_

**DAY 4199**

Draco dreamt that a certain witch was his soulmate.

He hasn’t thought of his soulmate mark in so long. Not when it’s covered. Not when he met Hermione. This was the first time it ever crossed his mind. But in his dream, he can live. In his dream, Hermione Granger was his soulmate. The same gold and silver intertwined was marked on her finger.

When he woke up, his heart broke a little at the thought maybe, they weren’t meant to be.

**DAY 4292**

Draco was living alone now.

After the war, he and his father never really mended the broken relationship so his father had gifted him the Manor and Lucius had lived in a villa near town. Narcissa stayed with Draco during the whole time, her heart strayed away from Lucius.

And he was thankful he was living alone, now. Especially since he’s with Hermione now. There won’t be discrimination and hatred and prejudice in the air and he was thankful. However, his father had always wanted to have the last say.

_Draco, I have heard some news about you and a certain muggle-born. Stop this instance._

Draco burned the letter.

**DAY 4387**

Aside from himself, Draco has never brought anyone to the Manor after the war. Hermione was the first.

Draco brings Hermione to the Manor when she asked him about a certain book that tackles dark artifacts and he says there might be one in the library in the Manor.

“Well, let’s go, then,” she said suddenly, grabbing his hand and pulling him up from his office chair.

“Let’s?” Draco asks. He _did not_ want to bring Hermione to the Manor.

“Yes. Let’s,” she says then, grinning at him.

And Draco wonders if it was right of him to bring Hermione here. Memories too painful and harsh were painted in the walls of this manor. They were on the way to the library when they passed the drawing room. Where she was tortured. Where he watched. 

He felt the atmosphere shift as she slowed down. He tugged on her arm but she just stood still and looked into what used to be a drawing room that was now abandoned.

“Hermione.”

She absentmindedly rubbed her arm where the slur lay and he thinks _who was he kidding._ He suddenly thinks of memories he doesn’t want to resurface. History he tried to bury and forget and repent. He tugs her to his chest, caughting her off guard, as he tucks her under his chin.

“I’m sorry. For whatever pain I’ve caused,” he muttered. He never actually said sorry to Hermione about the particulars. Always the one being closed off. But she deserved to hear it.

“I know, Draco,” she says as she pulls away and kisses him in the lips, looking at him slowly.

“I will never be truly deserving of you,” he says with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Draco,” she starts and he does not need her pity. Not hers.

“C’mon, Granger, let’s get you to the library,” he starts, detangling himself from her. 

She tugs him back then and cups his face with her hands forcing him to look at her. He sees _brown, brown, and brown_ , and Draco wonders when it has become his favorite color.

“Draco Malfoy you will listen to me right now. Sure, you might not be deserving of me,” she starts and he glares at her and tries to pull her hands away but she silences him with a kiss before she spoke again.

“But, is that not for me to decide? I choose you, Draco. Despite everything. I forgive you. For all that, and for all the things you’ll put me through in the future. Even then,” she says softly as she gives him one of her shy smiles.

He stays silent and just puts his hand above hers and leans towards her hands.

“I love you.”

His eyes open wide and his heart stops. She’s playing with the ring on his finger now and she looks at him, smiling, and she kisses him and he is still. He just stands stupidly. 

“Granger… Hermione,” he tries to say.

She looks down then, pulling her hands away and looks down. “I think I have for a while now.”

She starts to step back and that’s when he realizes she might think of this as rejection. And Draco, being a stupid idiot, takes her hand. She looks up at him then and he leans down and slants his mouth across hers and drowns her gasp. He pulls back and she stares at him dazedly. He leans down, presses his forehead against hers.

“I love you.”

And her smile in return is enough to knock him off his feet.

And he prays for whatever heavens above, that he never finds his soulmate because he can't bear it if he was to leave her. _Or maybe he wishes that she was his soulmate_. 

**DAY 4421**

When Draco finally found out who his soulmate was. His heart stopped.

He had never been into Hermione Granger’s home. As they entered her home, his hands on her waist and her hands in his hair, his mouth on her neck, and her mouth worshipping his name, he thought he could get used to coming home like this.

Later that night, when they both are laid upon her bed - well, he is laying on it and she sprawled above him, he watches him remove the ring that she always wore and swore that his heart stopped. His breathing stopped. He stilled.

There on her ring finger of her left hand, a mark dressed in gold and silver was encircling it. Just like vines intertwined. And he can’t stop staring. Can’t seem to have a word.

Then she looks at him as she reaches out to the drawer beside her bed and places the ring above it. She stares at him too, and he can’t for the life of him, say anything.

“Malfoy?” she asks, her brows knotting together. 

He grabs her left hand, his eyes never leaving hers. And when he pulls it close enough for him, he snaps his eyes away and looks at the mark on her finger and traces it. Her mark is more faded compared to his, the gold barely there, blending with her skin, but the silver stands out.

“Where did you get this from?” he breathes out.

“Well, I don't know, actually. I got it after the war,” she whispers back.

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at her as he traces his finger around the mark and he swears he feels her shiver.

“I think I got it because of the war actually. Might have been a scar, or a mark from a curse. Tried researching it and what it means. But nothing comes up. It’s beautiful though. I love looking at it,” she says softly, her other hand coming up to hold his hand that was tracing it.

Figures, he thought. He had tried looking up this type of soulmate mark too, back when he was a child and his mother first told him about it. But his mother simply said that these types of marks were rare to find and there were no records or histories to even support it. 

He then pulls her finger to his lips and kisses it and she softly says his name. And Draco loves it. His lips stay there, his tongue tracing the mark and she whimpers. Merlin.

“Draco,” she breathes, and there is confusion in her eyes.

Draco then sits up, making her straddle him as she stares at him wide eyes. He leans back at the head board as he keeps her eyes locked onto him and raises his left hand. He slowly removes the ring that his mother had given him, the ring that he had never removed, and watched as her eyes follow each slow movement. And when it’s finally gone and his own ring mark is shining in gold and silver, he looks at it because he hasn’t seen it in so long, not after his mother had passed away.

And Granger stares in confusion at first but seems to realize that they have the same mark as she traces her fingers around the mark in fascination and confusion.

“You’re my soulmate,” he breathes out.

She stares at him in confusion, brows furrowed, and mouth open.

“Draco… what do yo-”

She doesn’t get to finish as he suddenly leans down and captures her lips and captures her again and he doesn’t let go. His hands are everywhere and she is arching towards him and Draco thinks _yes, yes, yes._ And when he pulls away and she is breathless, he gathers her hands and kisses each finger, and when he comes to her left ring finger, he lifts it and looks her in the eyes as he kisses it.

She asks him all about it. About soulmates. And Draco tells her all that he knows, which is not much. She thinks it’s funny that out of all people, it was them. With the same mark. Same silver and gold. Gryffindor and Slytherin. Her and Him. He asks her then, _why are you so easy in accepting this?_ She looks up at him then, kisses him once, twice, thrice, before saying _because it’s us._

“I love you, you know what right?” she asks, her eyes closing now.

“I do.” he says as he places a kiss on her forehead. _And I love you._

And Draco now knows why it’s a mother’s greatest joy to watch her child fall in love.

  
  


**DAY 4422**

He stops wearing his ring. He places it with a chain and hangs it on his neck. He smiles as he touches it as if to tell his mother something. And as for Hermione, she places the ring her parents have given her on her other hand now. 

He doesn’t tell Potter and Weasley. Neither does she. She says _it doesn’t change anything, does it? It’s just an extra, I guess. I fell in love with you before it._

_No, it doesn’t. Just makes it better._

  
  


**DAY 4475**

"Stop fooling around, son."

Draco hated his father. He thinks back to the times he wanted every fiber of him to be like his father, wanted to make his father proud in everything he does. He thinks back to the time his father's approval was all that it was to him.

And then Draco thinks when he started to hate his father. He thinks that it started to burn when he got the mark — thinking why would he let his family get in danger. And Draco thinks he hated his father the moment his mother died. 

Now, as he steps into the Manor and sees his father for the first time since the war, he sneers. 

"That Granger girl—"

"And what about that Granger girl?" Draco sneers and stands up now, the scraping of his chair heard.

The two Malfoy men were now glaring at each other, and for once in his life, Draco does not want to be the Malfoy who succumbs to the orders of the other.

"What about Hermione?" He asks this time, lowly, and Lucius merely raises an eyebrow at him.

"You know what I mean, Draco. I will not let you roll around with that filth—"

"You will stop right now, father."

"And you will leave her this instance. I will not allow my family to be mixed with dirt—"

"Father."

"And you will do as I say."

"Or what?" Draco challenges.

He could feel his anger vibrating off of him but he didn't care if he struck his father, hell, didn't even care if he dared to point his wand at him. And if his father threatened him with family fortunes and the Malfoy name, Draco couldn't give a damn. He knew Hermione was worth 10 times more of those names and fortunes.

“You’ll suffer, Draco.” 

“And I’ll take it. I’m with her, that’s enough,” he glares at his father. And he thinks how much more will his father get from him. 

“I forget that you don’t know. You are betrothed, Draco,” his father says with a sinister smile.

Draco somehow knew this, deep down. His family, being the traditional pureblood would uphold those marriage contracts. It wasn’t a surprise that after the war, betrothal contracts were agreed upon. And despite that, Draco is seething. Clearly, his father did this either without the consent of his mother or after his mother had died, which had been 2 years now. And he is livid.

“When? And do you think that will stop me? And do you think that I care, father? I will marry Hermione, I don’t know when, but she is the person I will be marrying, whether you like it or not. I will break that betrothal contract.” He says mockingly.

His father’s eye twitches just a bit and Draco smirks.

“The Greengrass wouldn’t like that. They think highly of our family, Draco.”

Draco was surprised there. He couldn’t care less who he was betrothed to (he swore he will not end up marrying out of a contract), he just did not expect it to be from the Greengrasses. 

“And I do not give a damn about the Greengrasses. You wi-”

“You cannot escape this contract, Draco. You know you can’t play with… Dark magic,” he says in a way that makes Draco wants to shiver.

“What do you mean about Dark Magic?” Draco asks lowly, wand ready.

“Oh. About how if you and Astoria Greengrass don’t agree to marry when you are 24, suffering would be upon both of you. How the suffering would be, it is up to me,” he says as he smiles wickedly.

Draco wants to vomit. 

“Knowing you, Draco. Changing after the war. Disgusting,” his father sneered at him and Draco was about to curse him off, to leave his home immediately, to tell him he cannot believe that this is the man he calls father, when he made Draco freeze.

“Leave the Mudblood. Or I’ll make her.”

**DAY 4789**

Draco was never brave. That was Hermione. Draco was self persevering, cautious, and a _coward_. 

And that’s what he acted like for the next two weeks.

He hasn’t been to the Ministry. He filed a leave to Kingsley, something about needing to handle their family's possessions and vaults for the time being. He even asked his secretary to lie for him. He hasn’t gone home to his manor, knowing that she could apparate there, and has stayed in one of his family villas instead. 

She wasn’t the type to give up, though. That he knew. 

There were always letters left delivered to his desk by her owl. He had asked his secretary back then to deliver all owls to him immediately. He should have specified owls from who because he had received a total of 2 howlers from Weasley and 3 angry letters from Potter. He deserves it, though.

Her letters were the only thing he has of her now.

_Draco, I tried to stop by your office today. You weren’t there though. Anyways, I didn’t think you’d forget but we were supposed to have lunch today. Your secretary said you were in an important meeting. You didn’t mention this to me, though. That’s all._

_Draco, I haven’t seen you in two days straight. That’s a record. Seriously though, what’s with the overflow of projects suddenly? And you haven’t answered my last owl._

_Draco. I really thought you wouldn’t stoop this low to ignoring me. Really. Leaving me unanswered. Not being home at the Manor. Finding out you weren’t even working in the Ministry right now._

_Look, I might have done something. Or maybe you’re really going through something. And I’ll just be the bigger person by saying it’s alright. I’ll give you time. I swear. Just please, respond to me, Draco._

He knows he is being a coward, a jerk, a heartless bastard. But he does not know what to do. He needs time to think of what he needs to do. 

_I know. It’s okay. We need to talk._

He looks at the letter for a whole minute, or maybe an hour, he does not know.

**_Meet me at the Manor by 2._ **

**DAY 4790**

He thinks of how he got lucky in this lifetime to fall in love with Hermione. He thinks of how he must've saved a country in his past life for him to even be loved by her. He even starts to think that there is a God, or whatever Hermione's mentioned to him before.

"Draco."

He looks up as he was about to enter his study and there she was, in flesh, looking more breathtaking than the last time he saw her. And his heart breaks all over again.

"Granger," he breathes.

She takes a deep breath and looks him in the eyes and he hates that he sees fear and doubt in it. Hate that he can't find a speck of her confidence and courage.

"We should talk."

"I know."

He leads them into his study, and sits on the couch, putting just the right distance between them because Draco knows where this is going. Draco knows. And he wants to make the pain less painful. More bearable.

"How are you?" she asks softly, her eyes peering up to his.

Draco did not expect her to ask this and he wants nothing more to tell the truth. And for once in his life, Draco does.

"I'm not fine Granger, you know that." he weakly gives out a sad chuckle and he sees her give the littlest bit of a smile.

"Well, that's good. Makes me feel better that you're feeling all sad because of me." she tries to joke and Draco could only manage a weak smirk.

And then Draco couldn't take it anymore so he faces her just the same time as she does.

"Hermione—"

"I know, Draco—"

And he stops. He thinks he’s been selfish enough to her now. So he nods, signalling her to talk and he won’t interrupt her. Won’t even try to deny it all. 

She takes a deep breath and the words come out in a jumble and her voice is shaky.

“Well, it was odd really. I thought we were doing great, you know? Then, you missed lunch and I thought, oh, maybe he was just busy. Then you didn’t even reply to my owl. And the next day happened. By then, I already knew you were ignoring me. For whatever reason, I don’t know,” she looks at him with sad eyes and he feels regret and he wants to Avada himself.

“I tried asking Harry and Ron, too. I didn’t even bother going to the Manor until the 11th day. I was thinking that maybe this was something personal that you wanted to go through yourself,” she said.

He just nodded and he wanted nothing more to grab her hand.

“ And I thought that even though I was hurt, I needed to be there for you. Whether you wanted me to or not. I didn’t want you to wallow on your own. Whatever was going on. Being the bigger person, like I said. It was odd for me at first to not go head first into making you admit to me. But I guess you're different, Draco. Different enough for me to… try to change some ways I guess.”

And Draco knew what she meant. She was the one who would always dive head first into things, demanding and brave enough to always get what she wants. Wearing her heart out on her sleeve. And Draco was the self persevering one. He was the cautious one, the closed off one, rarely saying what he feels, but rather shows it.

She grabbed his hand then and Draco sighs contently as he finally, finally, gets to hold her again. His fingers hesitantly intertwines with hers and she squeezes in return.

“When I went to the Manor. Well, your father was there. I knew he moved out to one of your villas so imagine my surprise when he was there.”

Draco’s brain froze. _No_.

“I said I was looking for you. He asked me why. And I just kept silent.”

Her voice was getting softer now. Her thumb rubbed absentmindedly across his knuckles.

“He told me. Draco, he told me. He told me about how he didn’t want me to be with you anymore. And you know me, I stood my ground. Almost pointed my want at him,” she laughed sadly and Draco couldn’t even respond to that.

Her voice grew somber then as she continued. “He… he told me about the betrothal, Draco. He told me about how you were to marry a Greengrass soon. And of course, I told him we’d break it. That if he even dares to threaten me, I’d curse him first.”

“And then, he said you’d suffer. That the marriage contract was of dark magic. That if you were not to get married to Astoria by when you’re 24, you and Astoria would… suffer.”

They were silent after that. Draco couldn’t say anything. She just kept rubbing his knuckles. She then leaned onto his shoulder, her head lying upon it and she let out a tired sigh. 

“Hermione,” Draco tries to say. Tries to tell her that he didn’t know. That he would have, **would still** , break it off. 

“I know you didn’t know, Draco. Your father might be a cruel man, but he didn’t make me think you weren’t innocent. He told me about how you just found out, too.”

She then sits up straight and faces him. He looks at her and he can see fire and determination in her eyes and his heart flutters. She slowly cups his face and he leans in, eyes still on her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, Draco.”

“I’ll break it off, you know. I wanted to. Still want to. I don’t care if I suffer. I’ll have you though.”

“Draco…” she tries.

“And Astoria. I’ll talk to her. She might want out, too. We’ll make this work, Granger,” he said as he stood up and faced her. She looked at him tiredly and Draco’s heart broke. He kneels down in front of her and cups her face then. She touches his left finger where the golden and silver mark shows.

“You know that won’t work, Draco,” she looks at him then. 

“Hermione,” he whispers because he cannot bear to lose her.

“You know I love you, right? You know that don’t you, Draco?” she asks and that’s when she starts crying and shaking and Draco just wipes away her tears.

In the three years that they were together, she was always the one who said I love you. He’d respond with a kiss or a smirk before nodding and saying “I know”, and she’d just smile at him. He loved her. Merlin he does. And he regrets that he’s only told her a few times.

“I love you too, you know. I love you. That’s why this will work. We’re soulmates remember. Salazar, we even fell in love _before_ we found out we were soulmates. We’ll make this work, Granger,” he says, his voice breaking as he holds the back of her head and places her forehead onto his. 

“Soulmates don’t always end up together, you know.”

He pulls back then and stares at her because she cannot be saying that. 

“Draco-,”

And he stands up then and he is filled with anger. He is angry at himself for being him, angry at his father for being a bigot and a prejudiced human, angry at his dead mother because she cannot be here to defend him for having a soulmate, angry at Granger for implying that.

“What the fuck do you mean, Granger?” he all but snaps and his hands are shaking but he does not care.

“Draco, calm down-”

“I will not calm down! What the fuck do you mean, Granger? Are you saying we give up?”

“Draco, no… you kno-”

“Because it sure as hell seems to me like you are! Wha-”

“Draco, will you listen? I can’t -”

“- I’m willing to fight but you aren’t! Where’s all that Gryffindor bravado now? Yo-”

“Shut up, Draco. Shut up!” she shouts and she is standing and she is crying and shaking and he does what he is told.

“Do you know,” she starts, her voice shaking as she brings her hands to her face and rubs it, “do you know, have any idea, how hard it is for me?”

“Merlin, it’s hard for me, too, Granger,” he scoffs.

“I know. Fuck! Draco, this is hard on us! But do you know what I feel, knowing that I’d find out that I love you, that you’re my soulmate, that you look at me differently now, only to have you taken away from me because of that same thing that divided us in the first place,” she rages.

And Draco pauses his internal raging. 

“It’s so hard for me, Draco. You have to know it is. I can take being separated from you because of that, because of judgement, knowing you’ll be happy and alright then. But to have that, and to have you suffering when you choose to be with me. You’ll suffer Draco. We cannot mess with dark magic. And I just can’t take it. Not when I’ll be the one who’ll cause you pain.”

“Hermione, you know it isn’t your fault-” he tries to say as he approaches her but she just shakes her head and she’s crying harder this time.

“I know Draco, it’s not. Merlin, I know that. But it’ll be my fault if I chose to stay with you. It’ll be my fault if you suffer just so we can be together-”

“Isn’t it my choice to make to?” he asks her as he takes her hands to stop her from talking and she looks at him properly for the first time.

“Granger, isn’t it my choice to make to? I choose to be with you. To hell with suffering. I’d suffer more to know that you, my soulmate, won’t be with me. That’s harder, Granger,” he says softly. Trying to let her see what he means, what he wants.

“Draco. I really want to be with you. I dream of being with you. Soulmate or not. But you know I’d die. You know I’d die inside knowing you’re suffering. We don’t even know what kind of suffering your father has bloody put in that contract! And you know… that I’d be leaving you still then, just for you to be alright. That’s all I want, Draco,” she whispers softly.

Draco knows this and he hates himself that he knows this. That he knows what she means. That even if they did stay, she’d end up leaving just for him to marry someone else so he’d be okay.

“You’re all I want, Granger,” he chokes out. 

He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against her and he can feel her shaking.

“You don’t know how thankful I am to have you as my soulmate, Draco. No idea.”

“That doesn’t mean anything though, right?” he chuckles bitterly as he tries to stop his angry tears from flowing.

She removes her forehead from his as she wipes his tears and smiles sadly at him. She intertwines their left hand together as she brings his hands to her mouth and kisses his mark.

“You’ll always have a part of me, Draco.”

And Draco breaks there and then as he crushes Hermione onto him. They were both crying now, shaking, and holding onto each other. Draco expected more fighting, more shouting, but nothing came. Hermione, his Hermione forever brave, still brave in the face of love and he hates it. Hates that she can’t be selfish for once. 

Draco then kisses her and puts all his love into it. He kisses her deeply and she cups his face and he runs his finger through her hair and holds onto the back of her head. He sits them on the couch as he makes her straddle him and he puts in everything he has to make sure she remembers him. Remembers this. Remembers them.

And later that night, when they sleep in his bed, he doesn’t let her go. Just keeps his arm around her waist. As she buries her head in his chest. And he feels the need to say everything. Everything he has said and hasn’t said.

“Hermione,” he starts.

“Hmm?”

“I love you. I do. And I hope you know that not once in the past years we were together did I stop. Did I even think that I could stop,” he rasps out as he holds her.

She is silent so he goes on.

“And, I’m sorry. For the times I made you cry. For the times I made you hurt. For the times I made you feel small. Fuck. Maybe I deserve this. With how I treated you. But I hope you know I regret it, I do. Merlin, Hermione, I do. And I want you to know that I am utterly grateful for you. My mother would have loved you,” he said, choking the last words out.

He can feel wetness on his chest and he soothes her back.

“Soulmate or not, I love you. I loved you even before I found out we were soulmates. You don’t know how happy I was to have found out it was you all along. It’s you. It’s only you.”

She then sits up, tears in her eyes and he looks at her with love and longing as she runs her fingers through his hair and he sighs.

She kisses him slowly and he holds her close and intertwines their left hand together as she shows him just how much she loves him.

I love you. I love you. I love you, she seems to say.

And Draco knows. He knows. And he loves her. 

**DAY 0**

Draco slips his family ring that his mother had given him the night she had passed away right back onto his ring finger.

He cannot bear to be reminded of the mark anymore. Not when it didn’t even end how it should have been. And he doesn’t know when he will look at the mark again.

**DAY -10**

He bumps into Weasley and Potter just as he headed to his office. He has heard that Hermione took a week off of work. He doesn’t know where he stands with the two now, knowing as Hermione would’ve told them then. He just nods at them, preparing to leave when Weasley blocks his way and Draco stood taller.

“C’mon, won’t we go grab lunch?” he asks, sparing a glance at Potter.

Draco quirked an eyebrow at him but just nodded nonetheless.

And when they sat, the first thing Potter said was, “Don’t worry, we won’t hex you.”

He opened his mouth to reply when Weasley spoke. And it almost knocked him off his feet.

“Hermione said it was her fault. She didn’t give us the details and Merlin, she’ll probably hex us if we force it out from you,” he grumbled. 

He wanted to erase what Weasley said. Wanted to let them know it was his fault. That it was all on him. His family.

But he just nodded dumbly. 

**DAY -13**

Hermione was returning to the Ministry within this week. And he did what needs to be done.

He filed a resignation to Kingsley, saying that his interests are elsewhere. Kingsley nodded at him sadly, noting a loss of one of the best in the department.

He doesn’t tell Potter and Weasley. Doesn’t need to when they come barging in and asking him what he will do.

“I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to build a company. Maybe take over the Malfoy Industries,” he said and he thought about if his father would give him their family company now that he has… obliged. 

They just nodded and went to a pub later that night, celebrating the new life of Draco Malfoy as Weasley had said.

And when they were heading home, Weasley drunk as hell, Potter looks at him and gives him a smile.

“I understand, Draco.”

That was the last time he has properly seen or been with the ⅔ of the Golden Trio.

**DAY -371**

He gets married to Astoria Greengrass to the delight of Lucius.

He and his father, at this point in his life, are already estranged. But Draco, being a Slytherin through and through, knows that family is above all, and his loyalty will never waver to the Malfoy name. 

His wedding band has now replaced the ring his mother had given him (which was now hanging from his chest). It was bitter, he thinks, how the wedding band covers the ring mark that carries his love.

He and Hermione haven’t talked since that night. Haven’t seen each other. It’s been two years and he hasn’t even once not thought of her. Hasn’t had a day passed where he wants nothing more to remove the wedding rings he wore just to see his mark shine again. But he doesn’t do that.

Although he and Astoria only got married because of a betrothal, he will not be a husband who pines for someone else (not so publicly, anyways). He is a Malfoy and Malfoy men are loyal. 

_And he knows that underneath that thought, what he means is he will always be loyal to her, too._

  
  


**DAY -1134**

It is hard to avoid her. Not when her name was plastered around the Prophet for the past few weeks.

She was engaged to Viktor Krum. Her childhood sweetheart, the papers have said.

He fiddles with his ring and almost removes it that day.

**DAY -1654**

Draco learns that you cannot trust fate. That fate, despite being there, isn't as unbeatable as it seems.

They meet again in Harry’s and Pansy’s wedding. Draco still thinks how those two got together. He thinks its the time Potter needed to save Pansy's ass from threats coming from unknown wizards.

He hasn't seen Hermione in three years now. Not after he got married. Not after she got engaged. And now, as Astoria leaves to find Daphne, he looks around and she spots her amongst the Gryffindor group chattering. And Draco can't stop the pinching of his heart. 

She turns around that moment, and she sees him, eyes wide and questioning, eyes still as magical as he remembers, and he can't look away so he gives her the tiniest bit of smile. She turns to Weasley who is beside her and whispers something in his ear. Weasley turns to look at him too, and gives him a half smile, one that Draco nods to in return. He hasn’t really seen much of Potter and Weasley. Hasn’t talked with them much, either. The only time he saw them was when he invited them to the Greengrass-Malfoy wedding.

She is suddenly walking away from the group, saying something, and before he can think, she is heading towards him, looking unsure yet courageous.

And Draco falls in love all over again.

"Draco," she says his name as she comes in front of him and he feels his heart stop.

"Hermione."

She smiles then and Draco thinks he cannot wait for his next lifetime. And he'll make sure by then, he'd have things right. But for now, this is all they have. But Draco thinks it's enough.

And as Draco lifts his ring from his left finger a little bit (just like how he does when he comes close to wanting to remove it), his mark that has faded over the years is showing, yet the gold and silver are still shining, he swears he sees tears gather by her eyes as she smiles wistfully. 

He watches as she places her left hand just above where her heart is and Draco can't help but laugh softly. Her left ring finger was ringless, and Draco just notices then that her engagement ring was on her right ring finger. Her mark was shining in gold and silver. _Draco always knew she was the Gryffindor between them._

Astoria calls his name that moment as she approaches and Hermione drops her hand and smiles at him one last time before turning around and leaving him (and he thinks for good this time. They won't be seeing each other any time soon. Or ever.)

And later that night, when Draco is in his study, alone and wistful, he takes off his wedding ring and stares at his soul mark for the first time in so long.

Not everyone will be lucky enough to fall in love and feel like they've conquered the world. Not everyone will know that they are fated to someone the heavens have blessed them with. And not everyone will be able to experience the pain and the heartbreak as they watch their soulmark fade over the years. 

And despite that, Draco thinks, as he slips his wedding ring back on, that he will not have it any other way. He (and she, too) would just need to wait for the next lifetime.

  
His mother was right about soulmates. (He thinks it only applies to him and Granger because the world and their history is too cruel like that). _And she will be so beautiful, like the stars and the moon and the sun, so beautiful like those you cannot reach._

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I am very well aware that this fic could actually not have that soulmate plot but like, i am a sucker for soulmate aus  
> 2\. This actually is a combination of what i really want in a fic aka angst, not ending up together, soulmates, hurt/comfort :D  
> 3\. The day 0 starts from when Draco first saw his soulmate mark. I didn’t specify it but if you do the math between day 0 and day 1160, draco first saw his mark when he was 8 years old. So day 4790 basically means Draco is 22ish by then.  
> 4\. I am thinking of doing this is Hermione’s POV but we’ll see.


End file.
